Lots of loves!

Wow!  Blogging has really fallen by the wayside lately.  With three boys, a house to keep up on, laundry to do (and lots of it), mouths to feed and errands to run there has been a lot of things that are suffering right now, blogging being one of them.  It's not that I don't want to blog... I think of ideas to blog about almost every day, but it's the time to sit down and actually do it.  The few times I do find time to sit down for a few minutes I try to close my eyes and sleep.  Speaking of sleeping, Luke has become a great sleeper... since coming home from the hospital he went from getting up every three hours to the minute to only getting up twice and now, at only 6 weeks old, he is only getting up once to eat.  I can get a good 4 hour stretch of sleep and for moms of newborns, a 4 hour stretch feels like a full night's rest when you're used to only an hour or two at a time!  For some reason today I feel like I have the energy to actually not take a nap and maybe catch up on a few things that have been suffering. :)  I have a few posts in mind so to start this post will be about all the love these boys have and receive on a daily basis.  We are so blessed to be surrounded by family and wonderful friends who love all three of our boys.  Luke has been no exception...

 Meeting Pop-Pop, Uncle Dan and Aunt Ashley

Grandma & Jupe came over for a visit

Picture with Great-Granddaddy Smoak

Aunt Anna meeting Luke for the first time

"Granny G" & Courtney came to get some special loves!

Luke gets lots of love and attention from his big brothers (more in another post coming soon!)

Snuggling with Daddy (he does this a lot with Mommy too but the photographer of the family can't hold the sleeping baby and take pictures at the same time!) :)

We have also had so many visits from friends but unfortunately I did not get pictures when they all stopped by.  Huge thanks to those who loved on us by bringing us meals and taking care of us for the first few weeks after Luke arrived.  We are so blessed by all of you!!!

NICU & Coming Home

Tuesday evening the neonatologist that was in the OR when Luke was born came to talk to us and basically explained to us that Luke was one chance away from having to go to the NICU.  He had one more shot to get his oxygen saturation stats stabilized and if he couldn't do it on his own then they would be admitting him to the NICU.  Well, his stats came up and stayed up and we were so excited that we dodged that bullet.  Wednesday morning he was doing great.  He was starting to attempt nursing, the big boys came to visit him and got to hold him and love on him, and we were enjoying having him in our room with us like a normal baby.  Around 3:00, Luke's nurse came in to take his temperature and check in on him and while she was working with him he really started screaming.  It was at that moment, I believe, that the air escaped out from the tears in his lungs and into his chest cavity, causing them both to collapse.  His breathing became very labored and was quickly taken back to the nursery to be "watched".  At the time I did not realize just how bad he had gotten.  All I was thinking about was needing to nurse him (he hadn't eaten since 1:00 that afternoon) and that we were over the hurdle last night.  A few friends came to visit us, first Shelley, then Melissa and Becky and all of them had to look at him through the nursery window.  Around 5:30, while we were in our room visiting with Melissa and Becky, the neonatologist came in to explain they were admitting him to the NICU and she wanted to go over a few of the things they were getting ready to do.  I tried SO hard to keep it together while we were talking with the doctor but after a few minutes of it sinking in that I would not be with my baby, that I wouldn't be able to hold him or feed him, it hit me hard.  It was very hard to hear that Luke was sick enough to be taken to the NICU.  The doctor explained that once he was all set up down in the NICU that we would be able to visit him.  Jessica, one of my closest friends, showed up at the hospital just in time to take my mind off of things for a minute and get things set up for pumping.  Around 7:00 that evening we went down to the NICU for the first time and nothing could have prepared us for the emotions that we would feel seeing our newest son hooked up to so many monitors, in an incubator with an oxygen tent over him, seeing him screaming and not being able to do anything for him.  It was the most helpless feeling I have ever felt... all I wanted to do was touch him, hold him, and let him know we were there.  But that night we could do none of those things.  The neonatologist explained that they had done another set of chest x-rays and began to explain what exactly happened.  For me, that conversation is a complete blur.  I was too focused on my child, who needed me but needed 100% oxygen more.  We went back to our room, not knowing what to expect in the next few days and knowing it was going to be a long night!! 
     The next morning Luke's NICU nurse called around 6:00 to tell us that another set of chest x-rays had been done and that there was no change from the x-rays done the night before.  This was really hard for me to hear for several reasons but mainly because it meant that progress had not been made and in my mind that just meant even longer before I could love on him again.  The only thing I could think of was that I could not sit in his NICU room all day with him crying and needing me and not being able to do anything for him.  I was learning very quickly that having a child in the NICU was going to be such an emotional roller coaster!  Thankfully, Luke's new nurse for the day called the room to let us know that the neonatologist that was going to be on for the day was about to make rounds if we wanted to be there to talk with him.  We quickly went down to the NICU and waited for Dr. Coats to come in.  He went over everything with us, from what happened the day he was born, to what brought him to the NICU the day before and then he said some of the best words any mama wants to hear in that situation.  He told us that there had been improvement and that Luke would be able to come out of the oxygen tent and start weaning down to breathing regular room air.  That meant we could home him again.  They inserted a feeding tube and started his feeds through that.  There were a few things he needed to have done right after our meeting so we went back to our room to quickly eat something and got back to the NICU as soon as we could so I could start holding my son again.  What an amazing feeling... the feeling you get the first time you hold your child is indescribable but this, holding him skin to skin after not being able to hold him for a while was so emotional for us.  Right away we noticed all of his stats immediately went right to where they needed to be.  It really brought both of us to tears... to know that me, as his mommy, could help him that much just by holding him skin to skin on my chest.  Definitely something we will never forget!  That day started with what we thought was very little improvement from the day before and we were told to expect to be in the NICU for at least 7-10 days.  We had so many people praying for Luke and we were all praying that the Lord would touch his tiny, little body and that maybe somehow he would surprise everyone with how quickly his body would heal.  By the end of that day, not only were all of his stats stabilized but they stayed that way long enough for him to get back to bottle feeding and then nursing by that evening.  Friday morning we were told there was a possibility that he would get to go home late that night or the next morning.  To everyone's surprise Luke was released from the NICU Friday evening at 9:00 and we were all able to go home together (Praise the Lord!). 
     Our experience the week Luke was born is something we never expected and never want to experience again, but we are so thankful looking back at how the Lord really protected and provided for us that week.  From the doctor operating on me, to the nurses who were so tuned in to Luke to all the people involved in taking care of him in the NICU, to everyone who were on their knees on our behalf.  It was such a crazy emotional roller coaster but the Lord taught us so much throughout that week.  We are now so thankful for our completely healthy little boy and even happier that all of that is now behind us.

First time getting to hold Luke again after he was admitted to the NICU.  Words can't express how happy I was and how thankful I was to have him back in my arms where he belonged!

It was amazing to see how Luke's stats stabilized immediately once he was on my chest.  Words cannot even begin to express how happy I was at that moment to finally have him back in my arms!

Charles holding his youngest while they both tried to catch a nap.

Luke asleep in his incubator.  At this point the oxygen tent had just been removed.

Luke with all of his wires and i.v.  He had been so poked and prodded.

Finally getting all of those wires taken off.  Getting ready to go home Friday night after just receiving the final word that his cultures all came back negative for infection and he was all clear to be released!

Dressed in the same outfit both of his older brothers came home from the hospital in.  So happy to be "free" from all the wires and machines!

Getting handed over to Mommy by the nurse from the NICU.  I felt at that moment that he was finally "ours"!

Finally going home with our healthy little boy!

August 17th, 2010

   I can't believe that Luke is almost 3 weeks old and I'm only just now getting around to blogging about his birthday.  These last 2+ weeks have been filled with lots of adjustments (for all of us), lots of feedings, and sleeping when we can.  The week he was born totally wiped me and Charles out and we feel like we're just now recovered from the emotional stress and the physical exhaustion of it all.  This is going to be a long post... sorry about that! :)
   Anyways... starting from the morning he was born.  We didn't have to be at the hospital until 11 that morning so it was nice to get up, take our time getting ready and packing the last minute things, feeding the boys breakfast, and spending some time just loving on them since it would be the last time for a little while (for Mommy at least!).  We spent some time praying together as a family (and with Nana) for the day, for the doctors and nurses involved and that it would go as smooth as possible.

   We took a few pictures before saying goodbye and leaving for the hospital.  This was our last picture as a family of four but we were so excited about adding another little man to our crew.  I think the boys were so excited that Luke's birthday was finally here that they didn't know what to do with themselves!  We said very quick goodbyes (due to how emotional I was) and I didn't want the boys to see me cry.  Surprisingly I didn't even cry but only because I hugged & kissed them so quickly and got in the car.
   Once we got to the hospital we found where we needed to go and they got us right in and got started on all the things they need to do before the surgery.  The nurse was amazing and got my I.V. started on the first attempt... normally it takes 2 or 3 times.  Once all the questions were asked and I was poked more than I cared for it was time to just sit and wait.  Charles provided some much needed entertainment to keep my nerves down and it really did help to pass the time.  1:00 came and we waited for Dr. Holladay to call and a few minutes later he called to say he was on his way.  It was finally time to go and meet our newest little gift.  I couldn't have been more ready but as we entered the O.R. and my spinal was being put in I got more and more nervous.  I laid on the table singing hymns to myself and praying to keep from crying and to keep my nerves down as much as possible.  Once they called Charles in I was a lot more calm with him holding my hand and talking to me.

   Dr. Holladay showed up wearing his Gamecocks ... some would think how we could even let him near me with a knife wearing that kind of nonsense but we're reasonable people and were able to overlook it (BTW, Charles did wear an orange shirt that day just for Dr. Holladay so it all evened out). :)  The c-section was started and it seemed to take a really long time for him to get to Luke.  Later we found out that everything was such a mess inside of me (more than likely due to how my last O.B. closed me up after Jacob's c-section) that at one point Dr. Holladay didn't even think he could get to the baby.  How scary!!!  The Lord was amazingly good that afternoon and guided Dr. Holladay's hands as he got down to the baby and delivered him without any complications.  He was born at 1:40 pm, weighing 6 pounds 6 ounces and was 19.5 inches long.... 10 fingers and 10 toes and so perfect!

   The neonatologist allowed me to see my boy for a minute before taking him to the nursery.  The sound of his cry brought me to tears and then to see his face was so amazing.  I could tell from that first time I saw him that he looked just like his big brother Chase.  At that time I hadn't seen how dark his hair was but looking at Luke's face was like looking at Chase the day he was born (they both even had a stork bite above the same eye).  Charles went with Luke to the nursery while they finished closing me up.  That also took forever... I kept asking the anaesthetist what was taking so long and how much longer they had because my spinal was wearing off rather quickly.  A normal repeat c-section takes normally 45 minutes to an hour and my c-section that day took 2 hours!  Again, the Lord really protected me and I am so thankful that Dr. Holladay took as much time as he needed to do it the right way.  The surgery was finally over and I was taken to the recovery room.

   In Greenville, babies were not allowed in the recovery room and I had to wait until I was moved into a room before I could hold the other boys so I was super excited that they allowed babies in the recovery room at Baptist.  Charles brought Luke to me pretty quickly after getting into the recovery room and I could not have been happier.  I had just been through major surgery and somehow, holding my precious boy, made all the pain and discomfort go away!  They even allowed me to attempt to nurse and then do kangaroo care (skin to skin) with him, one of the best things ever!  Just before I was ready to be moved into a room they had to take Luke back to the nursery for one more thing but said they would meet us at our room as soon as we were in and settled. 
   While I was in recovery the big boys absolutely loved looking through the window and seeing their baby brother.  For months, Chase would put his hand on my tummy and love on Luke and to actually see him outside of my tummy and in person was so amazing to him.  My mom and those that were with him during this time said that all he did was talk to Luke through the window and tell him how much he loved him.  What a great big brother!!

    Jacob also was super excited to see his little brother and to finally be a big brother himself.  He didn't take his eyes off of Luke and really studied him while Luke was in the nursery.

  Charles couldn't wait to see the big boys and tell them all about Luke.  It's amazing how quickly you can love someone, even at just the sound of their cry.  Chase really took it all in and couldn't wait to get his hands on his little brother!

  Chase & Jacob waited so patiently to see us but at the hospital there are only so many things that will keep a 3 year old and a 2 year old occupied.  They waited with Charles outside my room as the nurses got me in and settled and couldn't wait to see their baby brother in person!

   Finally we were ready to bring Luke in.  What we didn't know at that moment was that the nurses had noticed Luke's lips turning blue while he was in the nursery the second time and had him hooked up to a machine that was monitoring his blood oxygen saturation levels.  They fortunately brought Luke to me for a few minutes for everyone to see him but I was the only one who could hold him in order to keep his stress level down.

   The boys loved being able to touch him for a minute and see him face to face.  Chase couldn't stop smiling and was so proud of his baby brother.  Jacob was a lot more gentle than I thought he would be and loved touching his tiny little hands.

   They were both such proud big brothers.  Jacob looks very serious in this picture but looking at his baby brother he was all smiles.  Chase's smile never left his face he was so happy that "his baby" was finally here! The last thing we did before everyone had to head home and Luke had to go back to the nursery for more monitoring was something that Charles' dad has done with all of his grandchildren the day they were born.  He presented Luke with the Bible, challenging him from the beginning to read the word and walk with the Lord.  What a special moment and I was so thankful that our good friend, Rachel, was there to take pictures and document those specials moments.  (Thanks again, Rachel!  You were amazing and we are so grateful for the pictures you got!!!)

   What a great day that was, regardless of the fact that it didn't go "as planned" or that Luke had a rough time with fluid in his lungs.  He stayed in the nursery the rest of the day, coming to me very briefly to attempt nursing and then returning to the nursery for more monitoring.  The middle of the night, though, he turned it around and was able to come for his 4:00 am feeding and stay with me.  Looking back at that day, the Lord definitely had His hand in every single detail, from the doctor who did my surgery and took such good care of me and Luke to the nurses who were so attentive and noticed his issues as soon as they started!  We are so thankful for this tiny 3rd miracle He has blessed us with and entrusted to us!  Our prayer is the same as it is for the other two boys... that we would take this responsibility very serious and that by our example, what we say and how we act on a daily basis that the boys would all learn to love the Lord with all their heart at an early age, that they would walk with Him daily and that the Lord would use each of them in a mighty way that will impact the Kingdom for all eternity!